Venting … gossip’s brother

Matthew 18:15 - 17 (NIV)
“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”

OK … I’m going to generalize here.  So, if this angers you, I am politely asking you to get over it. 

Whenever the talk of gossip comes up, or whenever you read comic strips about gossip, it always seems to involve women.  This - by no means - mean that men are exempt from the snares of gossip.  However, this seems to be the accepted truth in what we read, see and hear in public.  It is almost as if this is a weakness that only affect women because we men are so much above that. (BALONEY!!!)

Men simply gossip in a different way than women.  It’s not gossip because it is what they DID TO US … not necessarily what they DID.  It’s called VENTING!

Have you have had anyone that just wanted to VENT to you in order to better understand what they were dealing with, or better yet, to avoid taking their anger out on someone else, or because it would do no good to go to the other person because they are an idiot.  I have been VENTED to, and I have VENTED!  Guilty!  But I know for a fact that I am not alone.

It is time we rise above.  No more venting.  That’s really all I have to say about that.  Just stop.  Read Matthew 18:15 - 17 again, meditate on it, memorize it, do whatever it takes to get that truth into your brain.  Just stop VENTING!

The weak person vents.  It is very easy to do.

The strong person goes to the brother who has offended (or seems to have offended).  It is very difficut to do.
It is a difficult life the Christian must live, but if we live it as God has instructed us to live it … it is the abundant life promised to us by Christ.

John 10:10 (NIV):
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Are you reading your Bible …

I know I struggle with being consistent when it comes to reading my Bible.  I get to feeling guilty for not reading it, then, I get it out for a while and do some good reading.  But then … I put it down again for days (and often weeks) on end.

WHY????

I put on a good Christian face most of the time.  Most of my friends would probably tell you I am a good Christian who could serve as an example from others.  As far as I’m concerned … that just makes me a pretty good actor.  I have been a Christian since I was 10, and I know how to act like a Christian.  Rather than BE the real thing, I pretend.

WHY????

I am weak and stupid.  That is why.  Weak because I cannot maintain the consistency that I would like to maintain.  Stupid because I KNOW … I REALLY KNOW … that a Christ-directed life is the best life in the world.  By not reading my Bible consistently, I might as well be hitting myself in the head with a baseball bat regularly.  It’s as if I say to myself - “reading the Bible would draw me closer to God and bring me ultimate joy … hmmm … what can I do to screw that up … don’t want any of that joy.”

What about you?  Are you reading your Bible?

I have a suggestion for you.  This is something I am going to try to do as well.  I heard it from a preacher on the radio the other day.  And no … it’s not reading the Bible all the way through in a year or anything.

I am going to read 1 John every day for 30 days.  There’s a lot to be said about repitition.  By the end of the 30 days, I ought to have a pretty good idea of what is in 1 John, and I will also probably (by the end of 30 days) realize that 30 days of reading 1 John is not enough.  That’s key.  We can read God’s Word over and over and over and there will always be more for us to learn.

I’ll close with these verses:

Psalm 119:11
I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.

Psalm 119:105
Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.

1 Peter 2:2 - 3
Like newborn babies, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation. Cry out for this nourishment, now that you have had a taste of the Lord’s kindness.

Go with God,
Donald B

Left Versus Right … What’s your motivation???

Why do we do what we do? There is an easy answer to this … and it is to be appreciated by other people - especially by those we consider family or friends! But that has to change …

Matthew 6:1 - 4 (NLT)
“Watch out! Don’t do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven. When you give to someone in need, don’t do as the hypocrites do—blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity! I tell you the truth, they have received all the reward they will ever get. But when you give to someone in need, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. Give your gifts in private, and your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.

For me, this is a very familiar scripture. I have known and understood (so I thought) this scripture for most of my life. But recently, I have come to a deeper understanding of what these verses are saying. I’ll try to explain.

I want to focus on two parts in these verses (they are in bold above.) Have you ever asked yourself what “good deeds” are? Or even what “publicly” means? What about “others” … who are they? I will tell you what I think about these in a moment. But the “don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing” is a little more straight forward. That just tells me to not announce what I did to someone else. Basically … keep it a secret if I am able.

Good deeds - anything you do. Leaving groceries for someone in need, helping someone change a tire, giving someone money. That list is the sort of list I would have made in the past. I have since added to this. Doing your job at work, making beds, doing yard work, setting up chairs for worship, setting up Sunday School rooms, and any thing else that is something you might do to help other people in some form or fashion.

Publicly - anything you do that someone else might notice (or that you hope they will notice.

Others - any one who is not you. People at church, spouses, family members, co-workers, strangers, etc.

I believe there is a great lesson for everyone here. We so desperately want to be appreciated by people. We aren’t necessarily looking to be glorified or exalted above others (although we struggle with this too), but we are simply wanting to know that someone else appreciates the actions we take to make their life better. But this is what God is talking about.

Some ways we let the other hand know what’s going on is in casual conversation. For example, you may be in a conversation about kids not being taught how to change a tire by their parents. And you say something like this, “The other day, I stopped for this car on the side of the road, and there was this 20 something just sitting there because they didn’t even know where the spare was. Fortunately, I was able to help them get it changed.” Now … you didn’t really brag on yourself, but you let someone else know what you did. Guess what … you have received your reward in full.

Someone at work may have done something poorly, and you went in behind them and fixed it. Someone else says, “My, so and so did a good job with this.” And you, just wanting to make sure the company doesn’t promote a dolt say, “Well, if you really knew what happened, you might not think that.” And then, you proceed to tell them the truth of the matter. You have received your reward in full.

Or your preach a sermon or teach a lesson (and pastors and teachers everywhere could affirm this one), and you ask - for the purpose of improving of course - what did you think of the message today, or did you get anything out of that lesson? You have received your reward in full.

Ultimately (and probably impossible for me … not sure about you), but I believe God’s desire is for us to do whatever we can to help our brothers and sisters in whatever way we can as an act of obedience to him. And, after we do it … I think he wants us to look for our reward from him and not the people we assisted (or those around).

With all that said (I hope it made sense) <– Funny, I just typed that without even thinking. It’s kind of like me looking for your appreciation … I believe we should look for ways to thank others for their service or the things they do. Like I said at the beginning, we all do thrive on being appreciated from others. And I think this is a thing God built into us. However, I don’t believe God intends for us to go looking for it. But I do believe God intends for us to look for ways to give it to other people. And no … by me finding a way to appreciate something you did … I am not taking your reward away that God has promised.

Maybe - if you think about it - if we put more effort into showing our appreciation for what others have done, the need to go out and seek that appreciation would dissipate.

Go with God,
Donald B

A Husband’s Responsibility

First, this post is for men.  My hope is you will find encouragement to do the hard things to make your marriage work.  Women - feel free to read.  However, this is NOT intended for you to use against your husband as a battering ram.

Here’s the skinny - if you marriage isn’t working, it’s probably your fault.

I use the word “probably” above because there are some rare (but few in my opinion) situations where this is not true.

Let’s kick this off with some scriptures.
Genesis 3:16 (NIV)
Then he said to the woman, “I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth.  And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.

By sharing this verse, I am not trying to give you more reason to try and treat your wife as a slave … or to “put her in her place.”  If you have this attitude, then we’ve already discovered your problem.  Stop here … ask God to forgive you for your sins of treating your wife badly, then come back and finish reading.

By sharing this verse, I am pointing out a responsibility that God has placed on man.  To “rule over” our wives should not be equaled with “king of the world.”  Rather, it should point out how much God is going to hold you responsible for your wife and everything about her.  So, our role comes with a GREAT responsibility.

Check out these verses from the NT:

Ephesias 5:21, 25 - 27 (NLT)
And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 
…
For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her  to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.  He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.

I skipped verses 22 - 24 on purpose.  Those verses talking about the wife submitting to the husband, but your focus shouldn’t be on what she is supposed to do, but rather on what you are supposed to do.  And even if we were to discuss this, how you understand submission may be totally wrong any way.  My wife does a great job of explaining this.  Maybe she will someday, and then, I’ll point you to her post.

My reason for going here today is because of some wise counsel I received early on.  Someone was telling me about words of wisdom he had heard from some other guy about the man’s role in marriage.  Let me try to get this straight …

Man: My wife is the most irritating person in the world.  She nags at me all the time.  She’s always picking fights with me.  She doesn’t show me any respect ever.  She’s just impossible to be around.

Counselor: Why would you marry a woman like that?

Man: She wasn’t like that when I married her.

Counselor: Then, what did you do to her?

Point of this story: If we follow the guidance from Ephesians 5 above - “love your wives, just as Christ loved the church” - we will have a thousand more reasons for loving our wives today than we had when we got married.  We will be able to say, “This is not the woman I married” and be glad about it … and her too.  Because she will be EVEN MORE the woman that God wants her to be.

BOTTOM LINE:

If your marriage is rocky, if your wife is more irritating to you than you like, if it seems she is just out to make you miserable … you should probably stop trying to find her faults and get out your mirror.  If you will truly practice what is written in Ephesians 5 above, I firmly believe that over time, you will begin to see just how beautiful and lovely your wife truly is.  Your attitude affects her attitude!  Simple as that …

Practical advice:

• Stop being selfish.  Better yet, practice being selfless.
• Fix your faults.  Don’t even focus on her faults.
  If you think you don’t have faults, talk to me for a little bit, and I’ll help you find them. 
• Pray to God.  Ask him to show you your faults.  Ask him for strength.
  You will need strength as you begin to recognize and accept your role as husband.
• Read some books.  There are plenty of great ones out there.  Start with “The Five Love Languages” maybe.
• Work, work, work on your marriage.  If you want it to be good, then you will work.
• Gather godly men around you to pray for you and to hold you accountable for your actions toward your wife.

Bottom line for me is … if things aren’t good at home, it’s usually my fault.  If I find out what I am doing wrong and work on that … my marriage always seems to improve.  Go figure.

I think you will find the same thing to be true for you.

Go with God,
Donald B

Where is your seed …

Matthew 13, Mark 4, and Luke 8 all give us the Parable of the Sower.  If you aren’t familiar with this parable, I would advise reading it before going further.

Parable of the Sower – from Mark 4

Today, I would like to focus on Mark 4:18 – 20.

Mark 4:18 – 20 (NIV)
Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful. Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop—thirty, sixty or even a hundred times what was sown.”

If you simply read the verses above, you may just simply flow from one type of person to the next – and make the same distinction that I made – that being there are two different types of people being discussed.  I think the realization that I came to today is this can be just one person.  Not one person at the same time mind you, but nonetheless, one person.

In the past, when I have read these scriptures, I have quickly concluded I am the type of person in verse 20 because I was living the Christian life I thought it was referring too.

Mark 4:20 (NIV)
Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop—thirty, sixty or even a hundred times what was sown.

Today marked a new understanding of who I am.  Sometimes, I believe I am the person in verses 18 – 19.  Other times, I can say that I am verse 20.  However, debt, teenagers, wanting to be out of debt, other weaknesses … all of these things and more … as I allow them to consume my thinking … I quickly become the person described in verses 18 and 19.  The worries of this life … come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful.

That’s not the life God intended for me to live.  If I am to live the life God intended, then I will focus on the joy that is only found in him.

John 15:10 – 11 (NIV)
If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love.  I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.

What keeps us from being the person described in Mark 4:20?  What keeps us from having Jesus’ joy in us?  Lack of faith, disobedience, worrying about the hard times we are going through here on earth, and more are the thorns that attempt to choke the word.

So, knowing these things choke the word, making it unfruitful … how do we overcome them and enter into the joy that God has for us?  The things aren’t going away.  My debt will still be here tomorrow.  My children will still be teenagers (and I’ve got four more after the current two).

Hebrews 12:2 (NIV)
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Although Jesus’ tough times were brought on by our sin and not his own, he still had to endure.  He still had to go through things that COULD HAVE (but didn’t) choke the word.  How did he endure?  How did he continue on?  He focused on the joy set before him.  He knew how the story ended!  He understood that he would soon be with the father – again – eternally!  He knew that he would save all of us – or at least provide a way for us to be saved.

What is my debt compared to what Jesus went through on the cross?  What can a teenager bring into our family that would even compare to his trials?  (Some of you may be thinking you have an answer … but believe me … in the end, you don’t.)

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith …

Go with God,
Donald B

Bringing the Truth into Your REAL LIFE

Have you ever experienced God? Or have you ever had some kind of mountain top experience where God showed you something that He wanted you to change in your life or gave you some mission or showed you an act that He wanted you to perform? Have you ever come to a place in your life where you simply knew what God wanted you to do? How did you respond?

My blog today comes from a devotional that I read this morning. Check out this bit from the devo:

My Utmost For His Highest, by Oswald Chamber
Beware of not acting upon what you see in your moments on the mountaintop with God. If you do not obey the light, it will turn into darkness. “If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!” (Matthew 6:23). The moment you forsake the matter of sanctification or neglect anything else on which God has given you His light, your spiritual life begins to disintegrate within you. Continually bring the truth out into your real life, working it out into every area, or else even the light that you possess will itself prove to be a curse.

The last sentence is the one I want to focus on. Here’s the question I want you to answer today:

WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH WHAT GOD HAS GIVEN YOU OR HAS SHOWN YOU?

John 14:26 (NIV)
But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.

Before Jesus ascended into Heaven, He promised to leave us with the Holy Spirit. As we read in John 14:26, this Holy Spirit will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. And we know what the Holy Spirit shows us or teaches us or guides us in or anything is trustworthy and excellent because the Holy Spirit is God! Therefore, as Christians we have God - the Holy Spirit - living in us and guiding us through this life!

It is this same Holy Spirit that is responsible for the experiences we have where God seems to enlighten us on what to change or how to live or what act to perform next. The problem is how we answer the question above. What are we doing with it?

What we should be doing is what Chambers says in that last sentence - Continually bring the truth out into your real life. We constantly hear God … but refuse to act on what He has shown us. WHY???? I don’t know the answer to that, but I do know that I don’t want to continue ignoring God.

Check this out. 1 Thessalonians 5:19 says “Do not stifle the Holy Spirit.” We stifle the Holy Spirit by not heeding His instruction. The problem with stifling the Holy Spirit is that soon … if we continue to ignore … we will no longer hear. Is that what you want? Do you want to be in a position where you never hear from God again? I don’t.

So … today … what do you need to be doing with what God has given you or has shown you?

Go with God,
Donald B

Slip N Slide Video … Very Funny!

Christian comedian Rich Praytor on the Slip N Slide

I hate the Slip N Slide … so I LOVE this video!!!

Follow Through

Have you ever considered the follow through in a golf swing?  How about when swinging a bat?  Or throwing a baseball or football?  Or even shooting a basketball?  The “follow through” motion is always considered important!

Coaches are all the time encouraging their players to “follow through” on their shot or swing or throw.   I have actually heard people say that the “follow through” makes all the difference in the world.

But consider this …

The club strikes the ball, and it immediately takes off.  It is in the air never touching the club again.  This is where the”follow through” begins.  The “follow through” begins after the club has struck the ball and it is air born … it begins after the bat has struck the ball and it is moving out into the field … it begins after the thrower releases the ball never to touch it again for that throw.  Question of the day … how does the “follow through” affect that ball after the point of release?  MY ANSWER:  IT DOESN’T!!!  Not at all!  The “follow through” can’t make the ball go straighter or further or longer or anything.

So … what is so important about the “follow through”?

The “follow through” is a wonderful tool that tells us how we did.  If the “follow through” is good, it means the swing or the throw was probably good as well.  If the “follow through” is bad, then we understand why our ball veers off to the right or left … or we can better grasp why we popped the baseball up into the air rather than drive it into the field.  How we finish tells us everything we need to know about how we started and completed the swing, throw, or shot.

This post originally stopped here with an explanation that I was having difficulty with the spiritual analogy.  Thus, the first 4 comments came from that understanding.  Here is the spiritual analogy that I would like to attach. 

I had originally included this scripture to use to make the spiritual analogy connection that I was looking for.  However, I struggled with this because above I state that the follow through is truly only good for telling us how the swing or throw was.  It really had to impact on the ball.

However, after coming across this verse more than 3 or 4 times in the past 2 days in different areas … I have deemed it something the Holy Spirit is pressing upon me, therefore, I am going to use it. 

1 Corinthians 9:24 -27 (NLT)
Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win!  All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize.  So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing.  I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.

How do we related this to follow through.  The idea that I have in my head is this.  Although the follow through doesn’t affect the outcome of the ball, it is a part of the entire process.  The follow through cannot happen without a good swing or throw, and a good swing or throw never stops abruptly, but always proceeds through to the follow through.  So, in reality … one cannot exist without the other.

A life lived in obedience to Christ … a life which follows the direction of the Holy Spirit … will end up receiving the “eternal prize” which we should all be striving for.  If our swing is good - daily living a life of obedience to Christ - our follow through will be good - receiving the “eternal prize” mentioned in the scripture above.

In closing … here’s the question for you.  What is your follow through going to look like?  Unfortunately, it seems this question can only be answered once.  How you choose to live today will forever affect your eternal follow through.

Go with God,
Donald B

Logos Bible Software

Logos is a company that produces and sales Bible Study software.  But what makes this software so cool is the way they make it so easy to search through hundreds - if not thousands - of resources (Bibles, commentaries, dictionaries, books, magazine articles, etc.) at the push of the enter key.

After that introduction - and looking at the rest of my blog - you may be wondering why I am plugging for this software.  It’s a very simple thing really.  Logos searches the web to find where people have advertised - by word of mouth (or blog) obviously - for them.  And then, in turn, they place a link to your site (or blog) from their Logos blog.  A good trade I think.  First, I get to tell you about a software I use which greatly enhances my ability to prepare papers for seminary or lessons for a Bible class I might be teaching.  Second, when found by Logos, my blog gets advertised at a site where people might come looking for answers or resources to different topics.  It is my hope my blog can be used by others as a source of encouragement or even enlightenment.  I don’t believe I am the brightest bulb in the pack, but I do believe God has given me an understanding he expects me to share and the ability to share it.  With all that said, back to Logos.

I am using the Leader’s Library.  The reason I purchase the Leader’s Library rather than the Scholar’s Library: Gold is because of price.  The price for the Scholar’s Library is more than I can spend on anything at the moment.  However, I will say, for what you get it is well worth the money.  I was able to scrape up enough to get the Leader’s Library.  And even this library will be a mound of information for me to use.

These different systems are called libraries because that is exactly what they are.  They are packed with Bibles, commentaries, dictionaries, books and magazines.  And the easy to use search functions make it easy to search through all of them for particular subjects or writings related to biblical passages or anything like that.  The very cool part - as far as I am concerned - is how they insert foot notes in the correct format for papers that I have to write for seminary.  Simply put, they do all of the annotation work for me.  AWESOME!!!!

This is the end of my advertisement for Logos!  Check out their website by clicking on the image above or on any of the highlighted links in this post.

Go with God,
Donald B

Commute

Commute is a word I never used before I moved to Washington, DC. Even at Randolph AFB in San Antonio, TX … I never used the word “commute”. I walked to work most days. Church was just a half mile up the road.

In Montgomery, 15 minutes was a long ride, but we still did not talk about our commute to work or anything like that. There was this one lady that moved out of Montgomery but continued to work with us. Her drive was 45 MINUTES!!! ONE WAY!!! That was forever!

What I would do for a simple 45 minute drive to work today. For those of you that are fortunate enough to live in a place where everything is within a 15 minute drive, the word “commute” is a word that those of us that live in the big city areas use to describe our drive into and away from work. And for most, it is a miserable thing.

The fact that we have a “commute” to and from work inevitably roles over into our personal life as well. Unfortunately, there are still millions of people living in this area who have to go to Walmart and the grocery store on Saturday just like you. Therefore, your personal life is effected by the “commute”. However, we don’t call that a “commute” … no … that’s more of a “hassle”.

I’m still trying to figure out why I started writing this blog … so, I’m going to try and take it into the spiritual realm now.

1 Corinthians 9:21 - 23 (NIV)
To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.

How does this verse connect to the word commute in any form???

It’s like this. Understanding that we use the word “commute” in the DC area, but not in the Montgomery, AL area should seriously affect the way you do church. Who are you ministering to? Who are you trying to reach? What are their lives like? What is important to them?

Here … the most important thing people have is time. But time is important everywhere. I guess the difference is that when we plan ministry events here, depending on what day and time we schedule the event, we could be eating up more than 3 hours of a person’s personal life … whereas in a city where 15 minutes is a long way, you may only be requiring 1.5 hours of time. It all adds up after a while.

So … the whole point of this jabbering. If you want to effectively minister where you are, KNOW ABOUT where you are. Know about what’s important to those that ARE where you are? YOU change in order to meet their needs.

Enough said (probably too much)!

Go with God,
Donald B