Venting … gossip’s brother

Matthew 18:15 – 17 (NIV)
“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”

OK … I’m going to generalize here.  So, if this angers you, I am politely asking you to get over it. 

Whenever the talk of gossip comes up, or whenever you read comic strips about gossip, it always seems to involve women.  This – by no means – mean that men are exempt from the snares of gossip.  However, this seems to be the accepted truth in what we read, see and hear in public.  It is almost as if this is a weakness that only affect women because we men are so much above that. (BALONEY!!!)

Men simply gossip in a different way than women.  It’s not gossip because it is what they DID TO US … not necessarily what they DID.  It’s called VENTING!

Have you have had anyone that just wanted to VENT to you in order to better understand what they were dealing with, or better yet, to avoid taking their anger out on someone else, or because it would do no good to go to the other person because they are an idiot.  I have been VENTED to, and I have VENTED!  Guilty!  But I know for a fact that I am not alone.

It is time we rise above.  No more venting.  That’s really all I have to say about that.  Just stop.  Read Matthew 18:15 – 17 again, meditate on it, memorize it, do whatever it takes to get that truth into your brain.  Just stop VENTING!

The weak person vents.  It is very easy to do.

The strong person goes to the brother who has offended (or seems to have offended).  It is very difficut to do.
It is a difficult life the Christian must live, but if we live it as God has instructed us to live it … it is the abundant life promised to us by Christ.

John 10:10 (NIV):
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Looking ahead and leaving the past where it is …

Today, I begin with a sports analogy.  Stick with me if you do not consider yourself a sports person because I think this will make sense to you.

In any school or professional sport, the ultimate goal is to win.  In order to win, FOCUS is of supreme importance.  During the course of a game, a player may make an error by missing a ground ball in baseball, dropping a pass in football, putting a golf ball in the water or by committing a foul in basketball.  Errors (or mistakes) can be made in any sport.  And they can be made by some of the best players in the world.  Even Tiger Woods put a ball in the water on the 17th hole of the Masters this past Sunday when trying to pick up 2 strokes on the leader.  Mistakes happen.  What matters is how that particular player deals with the mistake.

If you have played any sport, you probably have come across that player that you know if you can get him a little off his her game by causing them to mess up once or twice … he’s done for the rest of the game.  He will continue to make mistakes.  Why is this?

In sports, if a player cannot get beyond the mistake, it really effects the rest of his game.  The successful players are those who can make a mistake and let that mistake go so they can focus on the rest of the game.  The players who continue to be mad at themselves for making the mistake or continue to place all their focus on how they made things bad for the rest of the team is the player that is unable to succeed for the rest of the game because his focus is now misdirected.

Please notice that I have not used the word forget in this dialogue.  As we all know, learning from our mistakes can help us be better in the future.  However, focusing on them as items that define who we are will hinder our ability to be all that Christ wants us to be.

Time for the scripture …

Philippians 3:12 – 14 (NIV)
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

The first thing you might be saying now is how Paul used the word Forgetting here.  What we have to realize here is the emphasis that Paul is making.  It is obvious that Paul does not forget his past because of other scriptures where he points out his mistakes and life before Christ in order to explain how he understands what the people are going through.  What Paul is asking us to do is to not FOCUS on the mistakes we have already made.  But notice this … he says forgetting what is behind.  While we instantly think about our mistakes, Paul is talking about what is behind.  Good things are behind as well.

While it is just as important to not let our mistakes drag us down and distract us from our focus, it is just as important to not let our successes in this life be a stopping point.

I’ll close with this …

Your past is your past.  Learn from it, but do not focus on it.  Do not measure your life as it will be by what you have been in the past.  Focus on becoming everything that Christ wants you to become.

Luke 9:62 (NIV)
Jesus replied, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”

Breaking the addiction …

Looks good … doesn’t it!  I think it does.  Unfortunately, I think it looks TOO good.  You see, I was in the habit of drinking 5 or more cups of coffee a day.  You may not think that is much until I tell you that my cup is a 24 oz. Dunkin’ Donuts coffee mug.  That’s a lot of coffee!

The problem with my coffee drinking is that it controlled me.  Not to mention the effects it has on me physically – raises my blood pressure, keeps me awake at night, and it messes with my stomach.  I mentioned how it affects my blood pressure to a professor where I go to school, and he asked “why would you continue to do something that is obviously causing you harm?”  At first, I just blew that off … but then, I asked myself, “why ARE you doing something that is obviously causing you harm?”  And the only answer is the addiction.  I have to have it!  It affects the outcome of my day!  It gets me going in the morning!  It is my juice of life!  But then … we start thinking about that whole “who’s your master” thing.

Matthew 6:24 (NLT)
No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.

While this verse speaks of money, it is true for anything that has mastery over you.  You CAN NOT have two masters … period!  That means money, coffee, sodas, cigarettes, tobacco, soap operas, reality TV shows, TV in general, eating, and on and on.

But since mine is coffee, I want to speak a little more on that.

Who can guess what this is???

If you said caffeine, you are correct!  This is a caffeine molecule and it’s logical diagram.  My problem is caffeine.  Yes, there are studies that say caffeine is good for you.  People are all the time telling me that one.  And they are partaking in caffeine BECAUSE it is good for them.  But guess what … EXERCISE is good for you too.  And those same people will not exercise.  The point I am trying to make is let’s not make excuses for the things in our lives that have mastery over us.

So … I’m trying to quit.  Today is my 4th day without caffeine.  The withdrawal symptoms are heavy upon me.  Fortunately, I don’t get head aches … but I do get constipated (sorry for having to share that), I have a lack of appetite (which is a big thing for me), and I am VERY fatigued.  I noticed it BIG TIME when I tried to go running today.  I am a runner.  Running 5 – 9 miles a day is something that I’ve grown to enjoy.  I was shooting for 6 miles today.  I made it 5 minutes.  I have never felt so drained in my entire life.

It almost made me want to get a cup of coffee. 

So … how do we overcome?

By daily being filled with God’s Holy Spirit and allowing Him to work in us and through us.

 Ephesians 5:18 (NLT)
Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit

(While getting drunk is a no-no … drinking wine is not forbidden … so, focus on the last part of the verse.)

INSTEAD, BE FILLED WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT!

For me, I might be able to paraphrase this verse to say … Don’t be dependent upon coffee to keep you going.  Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit.

By immersing myself into God’s Word and praying to Him continuously (begin the morning in prayer, pray as you drive, pray when you feel weak, pray when you are bored).

In closing … I hope this has helped you.  And I also covet your prayers!

Go with God,
Donald B

How do you deal with temptation?

Recently, my wife and I purchased a new front loading, high capacity washing machine for our family.  Please understand what a blessing this was.  Washing for a family of 8 can take FOREVER with a normal sized washing machine. 

In our house, we have placed this washing machine in our laundry area which is at the base of the stairs leading to my daughter’s room.  Just imagine it … every time she walks by she thinks “I wonder what it would be like to get into the washing machine?  I wonder if I could actually fit?  I could post this picture on my mySpace and win cool points with all my friends?”  Weeks go by and this temptation continues to pull at her.  Finally, she gives in.  One night, when no one is looking or around (most likely … we were all in bed … where she should have been) … she sets the camera to auto, quickly hops in the washer and gets the shot.  But, as with all sin, she is soon discovered.

Her mistake (besides getting in the washer) – not removing the picture from MY digital camera.  I discovered the incriminating photo the following night.  You may be wondering about how angry a parent can get at a child who does this kind of thing to an expensive washing machine … but I must admit, the totally and ridiculously thought about what she did tends to make you laugh more than be angry.  It’s kind of like that 2 year old who got into Mommy’s lipstick and painted her face with it … how can you NOT laugh at that???

I regress … let me continue.

My daughter failed at dealing with temptation.  She gave in to the calling of the washing machine.  But what about you?  When the opportunity comes to cheat on your taxes slightly in a way that you “know” you won’t get caught comes up, how do you deal with this?  When a situation is set in place which puts you in contact with someone of the opposite sex (who is not your spouse) on a regular basis comes up, how do you deal with that?  Men … if you are in an airport and you see the risky magazines calling you to buy them (and look), how do you deal with that?  Women … when your husband is not giving you the attention you need, and you see opportunities to have that gap filled elsewhere, how do you deal with that?

The list can go on and on.  How do you deal with temptation?

First, remember this …

1 Corinthians 10:13 (NIV)
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

Second, remember to pray …

Matthew 26:41 (NIV) and Mark 14:38 (NIV)
Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.

Third, remember to be filled with the Holy Spirit daily …

Ephesians 5:18 (NIV)
Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit.

Please notice that the title of this blog is “How do you DEAL with temptation?” and not “How to AVOID temptation.”  Temptation is real.  From satan, from the longings of your flesh, and from the things around us that we see and hear on a daily basis.  So, prepare yourself now to deal with the temptation to come.

The scriptures above … Matthew 26:41 and Mark 14:38 were spoken to Peter before Jesus was arrested.  Jesus knew Peter’s temptation to deny him was coming.  Who knows?  We may not have the scriptures of Peter’s denial in God’s Word had he prayed when Christ told him to pray.  Instead, he slept.

What about you?  Are you sleeping.  Pray now for strength and wisdom to deal with the temptations that are coming your way!

Go with God,
Donald B

can a christian still sin?

Some one hit my blog the other day using using the title of this blog as their search. People want to know if Christians can still sin. And I believe this is something that needs to be addressed … and so, I will do my best here.

Before I go another step, the picture to the left is apparently real. Therefore, this lady must really believe she doesn’t sin. I THINK SHE’S WAY WRONG!

YES … Christians can still sin! The best thing I can do to support this is to take you to the scriptures.

Romans 7:14 – 25 (NLT)
So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.

This scripture alone should answer the question. Paul – the greatest missionary to ever live (in my opinion) – struggled with sin … AS A CHRISTIAN!

But then … we read scriptures like this one:

1 John 3:4 – 6 (NLT)
Everyone who sins is breaking God’s law, for all sin is contrary to the law of God. And you know that Jesus came to take away our sins, and there is no sin in him. Anyone who continues to live in him will not sin. But anyone who keeps on sinning does not know him or understand who he is.

While we never want to ignore any scripture – even if we don’t fully understand it or it seems to contradict other scriptures – this one seems to stump a lot of Christians. Here is what I have learned over the years from other teachers and readings.

Check out what this excerpt from Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary says about 1 John 3:4 – 6:

Christ, shows an interest by faith in his obedience and sufferings. But a man cannot act like the devil, and at the same time be a disciple of Christ Jesus. Let us not serve or indulge what the Son of God came to destroy. To be born of God is to be inwardly renewed by the power of the Spirit of God. Renewing grace is an abiding principle. Religion is not an art, a matter of dexterity and skill, but a new nature. And the regenerate person cannot sin as he did before he was born of God, and as others do who are not born again. There is that light in his mind, which shows him the evil and malignity of sin. There is that bias upon his heart, which disposes him to loathe and hate sin. There is the spiritual principle that opposes sinful acts. And there is repentance for sin, if committed. It goes against him to sin with forethought.

While it is true that we should always strive to live without sin, it will just not happen. However, this scripture does tell us that we can make evaluations about a person’s spiritual life based upon their daily life. Are they are person who sins without any apparent remorse or guilt? Or are they a person who struggle with the sins they commit? This can tell us a lot about a person. Please note: this is not to be used as a tool for bringing down the hammer of judgment … but rather, as a tool to make us aware of a person’s spiritual condition so that we can be ready to present the Gospel when the time presents itself. That’s another blog on its own.

As I close this blog (I’m sure a lot more can be written about this subject), I would like to point out an earlier scripture in 1 John.

1 John 1:9 (NLT)
But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.

The same author who gave us 1 John 1:9 is the same author who gave us 1 John 3:4 – 6. So, if he’s giving us a way to deal with our sins – GIVING CHRISTIANS A WAY – then we have to know that 1 John 3:4 – 6 is NOT saying that we will never sin again. Instead, it tells us that we will leave the life of sin.

Unfortunately, until Christ returns, sin will always be a struggle that Christians have to deal with. Fortunately, we don’t have to do it alone. Just read the Romans passage above again.

Go with God,
Donald B